The number one trade in the hedge fund world now is to borrow in euros and get long US equities. This trade is working like a charm, but poses a significant future headwind–should the current trend reverse. For example: if the euro spikes higher, these riverboat gamblers are going to be forced to sell their JNJ and DIS, in order to pay back their loans. There are certain risk thresholds that will need to be adhered to.
Also, should US markets drop, precipitously, euro fuckers will find themselves in the unenviable position of being fucked.
But, for now, everything is working out, rather stupendously. After all, what could go wrong?
As it stands now, the fate of western finance, and all corridors of the civilized world, hangs in the balance. This is a balance that is very much interested in knowing if Janet Yellen is “patient” or not. If we find out this Wednesday that she is not, in fact, patient, hell will break loose and 66 seals of hell will be broken–paving way for actual centaurs to roam Wall–kicking people in the faces with their hooves.
On the other hand, if Janet is patient and says so, we’re all going to make an absurd amount of money.
To celebrate this future occurrence, I am prepared with corked bottles of champagne and jumping jacks. Upon my success in the capital markets, “The Fly” will travel down to Wall in his 1980’s style stretch limo, roll down the windows, and begin popping corks into the faces of pikers who pass by. After I am done, I will toss out a flaming cardboard box, with Blustar’s skull inside of it, wrapped in a dozen or so jumping jacks, for the kids. You know, they like to see the vibrant colors, and all.