Despite having an IQ higher than 99% of the known world, if you pick a stock that trades down over the next month, you will be considered a complete idiot. Moreover, if you just started investing and pick a stock that trades up by 20% over the next month, you are better than Carl Icahn. After all, Carl has been losing some money on HLF these days, no?
Remember last year when Bill “Mars Attacks” Ack Ack Ackman was utterly retarded long JCP and short HLF? Or, how about David Einhorn and his boneheaded short sales in CMG, GMCR and ATHN?
My favorite is that scoundrel, Martha Stewart. Do you recall what she went for jail for?
The conversation went something like this:
Broker: Hello Martha, long time no speak.
Martha: Hurry up, asshole, I have an empire to maintain.
Broker: Anyways, in between doing my TPS reports, ummkayy, I overheard that Imclone was gonna do really bad soon.
Martha: Get to the point. What do you want from me?
Broker: Umm, I think we should sell it.
Martha: Okay, sell it, goodbye.
For that she got a few years in lesbian prison.
You are familiar with the Gilded Age and how money was made back then, right? We all revere men like Jay Gould and Vanderbilt for amassing fortunes. But did you know it was 100% legal to be CEO of a company and short your own stock? People like Gould made millions by simply hurting their own companies and selling short ahead of that hurt. He’d threaten companies relying on his railroad, short their stock, then repair the relations and make money on the upside.
Today, if you are caught buying 10 contracts on a takeover play for a tip you received at a dinner party, you’re going to ass rape prison for 10 years.
Where’s the justice in that, I beg of your pardon?